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When everything's made to be broken... Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "iloverentx3" journal:

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November 2nd, 2012
01:34 pm

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Together we can shoot the moon, stop the rain, even ride a hurricane if we wanna.
Well, it's been a crazy few days. I will try to sum it up and make it as short as I can. Basically... Sunday afternoon I rushed home because the campus was starting to clear out because of Hurricane Sandy. We lost power from Monday night until Wednesday night. I came back to campus Wednesday afternoon. Luckily, the campus was fine and we had power. Classes resumed yesterday (ugh). My house was fine, no damage, one tree fell, my family is okay. Thank god. My aunt is still out of power but her family stayed at my house last night and I don't know when they're leaving.

I feel better knowing I'm okay at school but parts of my town still don't have power and there is a lot of damage that needs to be fixed. New Jersey is out of gas. I am lucky that I made it back to school and was able to get a ride. Others are not as lucky. There are still people from NJ, NY, and other areas affected that can't make it back until the end of the weekend or maybe even later. This hurricane was bad. We can joke about it all we want but it affected people a lot more than expected. The Jersey Shore was destroyed. I have so many memories of going there every summer. I know it will be fixed by the time summer comes but it still won't be the same. The NJ/NY area is in devastation. The actual storm may be over but the aftermath of it is even worse. I am still feeling disoriented and I'm no longer in the area anymore.

The hurricane hit me a lot harder than I thought it would emotionally. Yeah, I was desperate without power and electricity. I was bored. I was upset for stupid reasons. But I realized that it's all pathetic. Everything else is pathetic. The computer, the TV, even electricity itself. The problems I was facing beforehand were so petty that I don't even care about them anymore. People at school gave me such crap when they heard I went home. They said, "Why did you go home to NJ? It was so bad there!" I KNOW THAT. I WAS AWARE! I'm not stupid for god sakes!! Despite the loss of power and electricity, I was glad I went home. I bonded with my family and we suffered through this together. I would have rather been in the situation I was in than sit in my apartment alone with power. It sounds so unlike me, but I do not regret my decision one bit. I realized that I'm so lucky to have such a great family and to be able to spend time with them during the storm was priceless. So, next time someone asks me why I went home I'll say in my head, FUCK YOU. I stood by my hometown through all of this and we suffered together. There are still some wounded parts of the area affected by Sandy, but we WILL get through this!!! By the time I get home, things will be better. The hurt won't go way, but that is a part of the experience in itself.

Current Location: safe and sound in CT.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Together We Can - The Cheetah Girls

(Hit me with your best shot.)

August 22nd, 2009
11:13 am

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Maybe goodbye is a second chance.

So.. the last week of camp is done. I can't decide if this is a good or bad thing. It's good because I'm sick of yelling at kids and losing my voice, but it's also bad because I'm going to miss most of my campers A LOT. I did okay in tips, I got $370 from every camper minus one. It's a decent amount of cash since I'm getting paid anyway. Just because camp is over doesn't mean it's the end of the summer though. I'm done with colorguard camp, and I still have band camp all next week which will be hell. I've done it for two years so it shouldn't be too much to get used to. What a summer it has been so far! So many dilemmas, fights, challenges, and more. I made it through camp though! If I can do that, I can do ANYTHING.

Today I drove for the first time. This is something I feared for almost a YEAR now and I finally did it! I'm proud of myself even though I didn't do as well as I thought I would. It's understandable because it was my first time, but there's always room for improvement. I still have two more chances to practice anyway. Sometimes I'm good, other times I swerve or do the wrong thing. It's an obstacle that I know I can achieve. I'm just relieved that I got it overwith besides the fact that all I want to do is cry right now! haha. I can't wait to tell all of my friends and get my permit, I'm sure they'll be as proud of me as I am of myself.

Now I have to move on and say goodbye... goodbye to camp. Goodbye to those summer days and suffering from camp and band camp. Goodbye to Rebecca when she leaves in a week. Back to school, friends, teachers, football games, birthdays, more driving, and babies... not for me though. LMAO!!!

Current Location: trying to relax!!
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: Show Me What I'm Looking For - Carolina Liar

(Hit me with your best shot.)

August 16th, 2009
04:00 pm

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Give in to love, or live in fear.
So we're down to the wire.. the LAST week of camp. I may have seemed excited for this a week ago, but now I think it's a little sad. Even though the counselors I work with can be such bitches sometimes, I'm gonna miss the kids A LOT. Especially Aryn, Carly, and Halle (even though she takes FOREVER to do everything! hahah.) It wasn't the best summer, but it was definitley decent. I still miss my friends, haha. Hopefully I'll see them soon before school starts!

What a week it has been. I'm NOT joking this time. So many great things have happened! The first thing I will start with is the fact that I PASSED MY PERMIT TEST!!!!! AHHH, FINALLY!! I'm so fucking glad I don't have to study that useless crap anymore. I just made it, I got an 80. It was tough! hahaha. I start my 6 hours this coming Saturday and I'm really nervous. I can't believe I'm finally facing my fear and driving already! All of my friends have done it before and they say that it isn't so bad when you get used to it, so I should be okay. If they can do it I can, lol. Before you know it I'll be seventeen in exactly a MONTH from tomorrow. The days go by fast, don't they?

Another exciting thing at camp also happened on Friday. Color War FINALLY broke out!!!! hahaha. I didn't know what team I would be on so I was nervous for the breakout. I ended up being on white which I'm fine with. I REALLY wanted to be on green, but I realized that 1. I didn't want to be a MUPPET, haha (I'd rather be Dr. Seuss, aka: a who) and 2. I didn't want to be on Brittany's team. I like my team even though I'm not with Rachel. Oh well, it's better this way. I'm definitley getting used to it! Our songs ROCK too, lmao. I hope we win!!!

Yesterday was the second colorguard sectional at Kandace's. I can't believe colorguard/band is already starting again tomorrow! It feels like yesterday when we were in band camp last year. Soon enough I'll be back in school, ughhh. I still need to finish my reading and do the assignment. I'll eventually get it done though, haha. I'll just enjoy the rest of summer for now while it lasts!

Current Location: rooting for the WHITE TEAM!!!
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Hotel Room - Pitbull

(Hit me with your best shot.)

August 9th, 2009
12:00 pm

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If a greater wave shall fall, then fall upon us all.
Week 6 of camp is FINALLY overwith!! It felt like the longest week of camp, not even kidding you. It went by so slow! Summer is over halfway through, and I still need to pick up on my summer reading AND studying for my driving test. Scary, right? Before you know it, I'll be sitting in a desk for 7 hours straight! haha. My mom already started shopping for school supplies already, if you can even believe that.

This week was another interesting one. There were good days, bad days, fake people, a couple of breakdowns, and many more dilemmas I had to go through. I keep telling myself that all of this would calm down within a few weeks of camp, but it never did. I just want to get the rest of my paycheck and get the fuck out of camp already. I'm so sick of everything.. except for some of the kids. At least they care about me. So.. who's ready for story #1? It was on Tuesday when we had our show. We did a final head count so we could go onstage, and we realized that a camper named Jess was missing. Brittany started FREAKING OUT and I was sort of standing in front of her doing nothing. So she's like "CAN YOU GO FIND HER?" like it's my fault that she got lost. Why the fuck is it MY problem? You're the senior counselor, you should keep track of your fucking kids anyway!!! AHHH. We eventually found her in the Field House with her mom and she was okay. The show was great, I actually performed with the kids as well as the other counselors. But I was being myself, NOT Annie. hahaha. Everyone (especially Brittany) was still bugging me about dressing up but they can go fuck themselves. At least they stopped doing it or I would've said something.

A few days later, we had another issue.. of course. I guess someone forgot to pick up Brooke from tutoring? So Monica reminded me and I was going to pick her up until I saw Brittany heading in the same direction. I told her what the problem was, and she was like "CAN YOU PICK HER UP?" in a bitchy way. Before I could explain to her that I thought she was going to get her, she just walked away which really pissed me off. I fucking misunderstood, so why the hell are you yelling at me for no goddamn reason? And to make things worse, she did something else on Friday that also made me upset. I was HALFWAY in the fucking pool, so she pulled me out because she wanted me to stay in the arcade with two girls who weren't going swimming. At first, it didn't seem like such a problem because I wouldn't mind doing that on any given day. But it pissed me off because 1. I WAS ALREADY IN THE POOL AND SHE WASN'T! 2. She wasn't going in the fucking pool anyway so why couldn't SHE stay with them? 3. I was supposed to be on my break and I gave it up go to in the pool with my campers. 4. There was a counselor in the arcade with them anyway! and last but certainly not least, 5. My campers WANTED me to play in the pool with them! For once this ENTIRE SUMMER, a camper wanted me to play in the pool with her. I felt so fucking bad because I wanted to play with her too!! AHHHH FML!!! GOD, Brittany can be such a motherfucking bitch sometimes. I can't wait until camp is over so I don't have to listen to her anymore.

The last "issue" that happened this week was that I had to ditch my friends yesterday to go to the beach. I'll admit I was upset at first because I cried for HOURS, but I ended up having a great time with my family friends. I'm NEVER that relaxed at the beach because I'm always freaking out about the seagulls, but I wasn't scared this time and rested on a towel which felt amazing. I needed the calmness of the beach, so I'm glad I got to go. Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it? hahaha. I still miss my friends though! Camp can be so annoying because people give me such crap and I do NOTHING to them. WTF is wrong with me? People see me as such a pushover and I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong but I can't. UGHHHH, I'll find my bitchy side sometime within the next two weeks.

Current Location: finding my bitchiness.
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas

(Hit me with your best shot.)

August 1st, 2009
11:15 am

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I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
Back again!! I can finally write more often because I have my computer back. Thank god, I hate sharing with people sometimes. It's not the worst thing in the world but it can get annoying. So.. what a week! Definitley more interesting than last week, that's for sure!! hahaha.

I took a day off from camp on Tuesday for my annual yearly doctors appointments. It's usually the same as always, just a checkup. Luckily everything is fine though. I'm a pretty healthy person anyway, I rarely get sick. It was nice to miss a day of camp though. I needed a break from those kids. hahaha. When I came back the next day, I got a rude awakening. I guess that's what you call it? I really don't know. We got a new girl named Brooke this week and when she went to climb on the zipline, she freaked out and climbed back down. Then, she hit her eye on the foot thing that stuck out and it started BLEEDING. Brittany and Monica rushed her to the nurse because it was gushing blood. UGH, so freaking disguisting. Thank god I didn't see the worst of it! hahaha. I feel so sorry for her! She's fine though, all she needs is something on her eye to make it heal and hopefully she'll be back on Monday. That was the story of the week for the entire camp, lmao. Everyone knows!! It's kind of funny actually because it was only her third day.

The other story of the week was in music. My group is singing to a song from Annie and the music teacher wanted me to dress up? I don't know why. Probably because the other counselors forced me to since I wasn't here the other day. I told her there was no freaking way I would do it and she said I didn't have to. I mean, I know she's my neighbor and she thinks I'd be good at it but really, I don't do things like that! haha. Apparently she doesn't know me well enough. Oh well, the dance is fine anyway and it would look stupid if I did that. I'm pretty excited for them though, they're SO good at singing the song!! It's adorable, the parents will love it a lot. They should be proud of their children! lmao.

So, what else is new? Colorguard pool party at my house today. It sucks that I have my period but at least it's nice out. Should be fun, I'll do ANYTHING to see people! hahaha. That's all for now I guess. Bye.

Current Location: chillin outtt.
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: I'll Be - Edwin McCain

(Hit me with your best shot.)

July 24th, 2009
09:21 pm

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I'm sick of being the back seat rider.

So, I haven't written in over a week. Sorry about that, my computer had to be fixed because it has a virus and I'm getting it back tomorrow... FINALLY!! hahaha. I also haven't had time to write because I've been sharing a computer with my sister's. Things are hectic as you can see. But at least I can have some time to myself on the computer starting tomorrow.

You're probably wondering how camp has been for me. If you can believe it, we're halfway through! I'm in such shock, I can't even THINK about school at the moment. It's not like I'm dreading going back because I DO miss my friends, it's the work that scares me. Ahhhh.. I won't even mention anything about it right now except for the fact that I'm almost halfway done with my book! YESSS.. go me!! hahaha. I'll just enjoy the rest of my summer for now. SO, back to camp. It's been okay. I've had a couple of breakdowns but nothing major. I feel like I'm handling things a lot better now which is a positive thing. The breaks actually help me a lot when it comes to taking stress out of my day. I just sit there and do lanyard which is a concentrated activity so it keeps me focused for the rest of the day. Other times I feel like Brittany overworks me but I do what I can for the money. I'll speak up if I need to but sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Another good thing is that I have more of a connection with the other counselors now, minus Beth. It's not like I want to be BFFS with them, but I learned that you should be on good terms with everyone.. even if they can be a pain in the ass!! LMAO.

Today, Daria came to visit the camp. She walked into Ceramics and said hi to me and came to see my group this year. That seriously like MADE MY DAY. She's such a warm person and I miss her so much!! Seeing her gave me confidence to make it through the rest of the summer and enjoy my group a lot better. I still miss my old group, but I'm getting over it slowly. My group this year isn't as bad as they seem. They cause a lot of drama but they're sweet girls and they mean well.

Besides summer reading, I also have to study a little for my retake test at the driving school soon. I haven't had time to study because of summer reading and camp, but I'll find some time this weekend. I finally woke up and realized that I should stop procrastinating when my mom yelled at me the other day. I really need to get off my ass and drive already. Everyone will have their license before me which is pretty embarassing because I'm older than all of them anyway. I feel like I'm always the "back seat rider" both literally and figuratively. In camp, I always trail behind and I wait for the slower kids to catch up to the group. And since I can't drive yet, I'm always riding in the back seat of the car. I need to get the hell out of the back seat and into the front seat so I can take control and gain confidence already.

Current Location: on the halfway mark of summer.
Current Mood: productiveproductive
Current Music: Please Don't Leave Me - Pink

(Hit me with your best shot.)

July 14th, 2009
05:46 pm

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It's too far away for me to hold, too far away...
I can't believe I'm writing again so soon! This is for a special occasion though, Today is July 14th, which means that FIVE YEARS AGO, I officially became an Idina fan. It seems like forever ago right? Well, since then a lot of things have changed. I went through many highs and lows - from being overly obsessive, to completley calm. I broke the withdrawal by going to her first concert in April of last year. But does it really matter how much I've obsessed over her or what has happened since then? Of course not! The main point I'm trying to make is the fact that it's so shocking I even lasted that long. Just when I thought I'd be over this I actually wasn't. So instead of spending this whole freaking entry gushing about how much I love her, I'll tell you a couple of funny Idina stories - or "moments" as I like to call them - that have happened along the way.

A month after I saw Idina in Wicked, my family and I took a trip to Niagara Falls. On the way home, we stayed at a hotel in Utica, NY because we visited Cooperstown the next day. Incase you haven't been there or heard of it, it's a complete ghostown in upstate NY. In the middle of the little town near our hotel, there was a fancy Italian restaurant in the middle of a bunch of crappy buildings. We were eating our dinner, and Rebecca said "THERE'S IDINA MENZEL AND KRISTIN CHENOWETH WALKING OUTSIDE!!!" I immeditaley turned my head around and started looking for them, until I realized that she was just kidding around with me. How adorable is that? Even at eleven years old, I was so gullible to believe something like that. I kind of miss that a little. If she said anything like that to me now, I wouldn't believe her like I did back then.

Another funny story I have is when my grandma stayed over my house two years ago. She wanted to watch RENT with us, so we popped in the movie and the "Tango: Maureen" scene came on. I was gonna explain the whole Wicked-RENT connection because she DID see it with me, but I didn't think she'd get it. So Rachel said to her "She was in Wicked, grandma!" My grandma thought it was funny how Idina was the same person in both RENT and Wicked, and I know it probably shocked her a little. I find it funny how much I've kept in about this obsession all along, and it was smart of me to do that. I couldn't be prouder.

The most shocking part about all of this is what I've been able to take in, and whatever is left for the future so I can have more stories like this to tell. What a memory.. seeing Idina arrive on that stage in Wicked for the first time. It is something I will never forget. But we have both grown older and wiser over the past five years - Idina will have her baby, and sooner or later I have to start looking at colleges for myself. Scary right? You bet! I still haven't met her yet, but if I'm lucky enough, I'll cross paths with her in the future. I really hope so! It would be the IDEAL experience. Knowing what I do know about her, I can say that she's a pretty damn amazing person. I can tell. No one can disapprove that unless they're crazy, hahaha. Long live 7.14.04 - it's been an INCREDIBLE ride!!!

Current Location: reflecting on the past.
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
Current Music: For Good - Wicked

(Hit me with your best shot.)

July 11th, 2009
03:06 pm

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For better or for worse.
I thought I would be able to write a lot more this summer, but of course that didn't happen. I apologize for that.. I get so exhausted during the week that I tend to forget. The weekends are always a more relaxing time to collect my thoughts anyway. So... you're probably wondering how camp is. I can finally say that the "camp drug" has definitley gotten to me. Regardless of how many times I say I hate camp, it's all I ever talk about. I feel like I have no life or something, hahahaha. So how IS it? It's been on and off, I can't tell if I even like it or not. Some days I enjoy myself and look on the bright side, and other days I feel like I wanna kill myself and literally break down crying. In my opinion, I connected a lot more with my campers this week. You would think that a 10 year age difference is so much, but it's really not. If you put yourself into their minds then it's a lot easier. There's definitley a few kids that I like a lot, and others that annoy the shit out of me. But it's like that every year, that's just how things are. Do I miss my group from last year? Of course I do! But you know what? I need to move on already. I can't keep hanging onto the past, instead I have to move forward into the present and future.

The reason why camp annoys me sometimes is not because of the kids though. Yeah, they can get annoying, but they're the innocent ones. They don't mean to cause problems, they're just born that way. The real dilemma is the counselors. I just feel so awkward with all of them. They're nice, but I don't feel like I connect with them. I relate better to a freakin 6 year old for god sakes. I don't care about sex, boys, makeup, or anything else that they give a shit about. Every time I try to speak it's like I'm not even there or I have two heads or something. I don't do this for them anyway, I do it for the kids and money. YES, I said money. I need it for college and my life after that. I'm running out of money just when I thought I had a lot of it. So, back to the counselors. Some of them are so goddamn annoying. Like Liz and Beth seem like they're attached at the hip or something. I talk to Liz a little, but I try to avoid them as a "duo" because I don't want to break up their dumb relationship anyway. Whenever they're together, I try to stay with Brittany. OH WAIT, she's awkward too!! She's nice and everything, but I feel like she thinks I'm some idiot or something. I'm just trying to be your friend, god. After camp is over I want nothing to do with any of them again. I miss Daria, Dani, and Jess. We all were bffs and always talked about everything together. UGH, FMLLLL.

Thinking about all of this, I ask myself why I care about what everyone thinks of me. Am I some paranoid freak or something? It's worse in camp than in school too! Isn't that weird? I used to feel so comfortable with everything in camp, but now I'm so worried about people thinking I'm weird. At least in school everyone knows me already. That's one positive thing. I know I joke about saying I need a therapist, but I'm fucking serious this time. I can't deal with breaking down in tears at camp and hiding it anymore. It's so motherfucking lame and I HATE IT. I can't take ONE MORE DAY of Beth giving me demands. She's training to fucking BE me, so why should I have to listen to her? I never did that as an LIT!! Whatever, maybe I'm too emotional and paranoid. I don't know.. I can be lame sometimes. But I'm not completley wrong. Besides, if I told my mom to take me to therapy then she wouldn't think I was serious anyway. It would be too awkward.

I'll eventually get through this, the beginning of the summer is always a rough start anyway. I guess the only thing I really have to do is just wait it out another week. Maybe things will get better, you never know. At least I get to see Sarah at the graduation party I'm going to tonight!! I miss her SO MUCH, you have no idea. I can't wait to tell her all of my stories about camp!

Current Location: trying to enjoy my summer.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: I Know You Want Me - Pitbull

(Hit me with your best shot.)

July 3rd, 2009
04:44 pm

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Well you shoved it in my face, this pain you gave to me.
Happy 4th of July weekend everyone! (whoever reads this, hahaha) Camp started this week, but I'm off today so I only had to be there for four days. THANK GOD. AHHHH. I only finished the first week and I'm sick of it already. No other group beats last year's, I miss them so much. I see them everyday and they always scream my name and hug me. At least SOMEONE cares about me, ahahah. It was an interesting week, good and bad, but I'm trying to make the best of this summer. I know how many people would kill for my job anyway. I'll make it. Here's a quick wrap-up of each day.

Monday - Awkward and painful. My period HAD to come, so I was in excruciating pain the entire day. I took medicine and it felt a little better, but I still felt awful. As always, it took me awhile to open up to my group, but I have the whole summer to be with them and get comfortable. We had the worst activities too (besides cooking), so that might've been another reason why I was so miserable.

Tuesday - It was a better day, just as I had hoped it would be. The only bad thing that day was PEOPLE. I have two stories, but I'll start with bumper boats. You know how the guy hates me? Well, I already knew that and just ignored him anyway. I got in a yellow boat (YELLOW, duhhhh.. a big bug came and like, attacked me. Figures...) and he started yelling at me. I DIDN'T EVEN DO SHIT!! It's been a fucking YEAR and I forgot how to drive the damn boat, so what? So he continued to scream at me and I just played cool and ignored him even though I felt like an asshole. It wasn't the end of the world. The next thing that happened was in the field house. Beth, Liz, and I were playing with basketballs while the kids were playing AROUND us. We couldn't really watch them since they were all over the place. So of course SHARON comes in and is like staring at us. I suspected for something to happen and I couldn't be more wrong. She looked at us and had the fucking NERVE to say "YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING YOUR KIDS!!" FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY GROUP LEADER ANYMORE!! GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU'RE JUST BORED WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE!!! I ignored Sharon and apologized to Beth and Liz. I also explained to them how she hated me anyway. Whatever... I don't give a shit about Sharon anymore.

Wednesday - We had this dumb circus show thing, but the kids liked it. I started to feel some self-doubt because I was the only one not picked for "duck, duck, goose." I know I sound 3 but it kind of made me upset because no one noticed until the end. This girl Alexa said "I was gonna pick you!" Yeah, right. I don't give a fuck, it's just a dumb little kid game and I felt like shit anyway. The positive thing was that during free swim, I held Sydney in the pool. She's so cute! The only problem is that she cries everyday but usually stops so that's a good thing.

Thursday - Good and bad, I can't really decide. I felt even WORSE. So... Sydney cries right? Well, yesterday it was the worst day of the entire week because she DIDN'T stop. Not only did she cry in the morning, but she cried after lunch, and RIGHT BEFORE we were leaving to go home! As if things weren't already bad, they got even more intense. The other counselors didn't feel like dealing with her so now she only wants ME. I'm not really good with comforting kids when they're crying, but I tried my best. The other kids don't feel comfortable with me yet, and I usually work well with the shy, awkward ones. It's not a big deal for me though. She's cute and quiet, and all I really have to do is ignore her and try to talk to her when that doesn't work.

So that's camp for ya. I'm not sure if I really want to do this next year. I don't really click well with kids even though I do like them a lot and I want kids of my own someday. I'll just finish up the next 7 weeks and try to have a relationship with these kids. It's not the worst thing in the world. On the bright side, my little cousins Ethan and Dani are coming for July 4th tomorrow and I really miss them. We're making SUGAR COOKIES!!! haha. That's all for now.. I'll write more soon when I'm not at camp, I promise!

Current Location: stuck inside because I'm mad at someone.
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: Running Away - AM

(Hit me with your best shot.)

June 28th, 2009
11:54 am

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Free at last.
SUMMER '09 IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be happier right now, honestly. I'm so glad that sophomore year is behind me. It will be one of the hardest years of my high school career that I have to get through. I'm a little upset that I didn't try as hard as I could have, but I know that I REALLY have to step it up for next year. My final grades turned out okay, so that's a good thing. The only C+ I got was in history which counts as a B+ anyway because it's an honors class. Next year is the REAL DEAL. I have to start thinking about college and what I want do to with my life... scaaary. I'm still not sure yet but I have to look into it more. Should I mention any of the memorable moments from sophomore year? Maybe not... I pretty much told you everything anyway. I mean really, who gives a shit about me failing my history tests 100 times or Mrs. Dierking making me cry? You can't always look back or regret things. The only thing you can do is just think about it, smile, and move on.

Remember that "school year resolution" I set in the beginning of the year? Incase you don't remember, it was to stop being obsessive. Believe it or not, I never thought I would be able to live up to it but I DID. I worked extremely hard and faced the reality of my life rather than living in a fantasy. I struggled through a lot of things, but I handled it well and came to a conclusion. Even though I didn't get the grades I wanted to, I still worked for them instead of having everything come easy to me. Now I can get refreshed this summer, and have a brand new start next year that will be even BETTER than this year!

Now that school is over, a million pounds have been lifted off of my shoulders and I can finally be free. The past week has been kind of boring because there isn't much to do when you're home all day. I went to the mall, out to eat, to the beach, and that's pretty much it. Camp starts tomorrow which will be a whole new chapter of my life. I don't know what to expect this summer, but I'm sure I'll have PLENTY of stories to tell! hahahaha.

Current Location: enjoying SUMMER!!!
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: Broken Bones - Rev Theory

(Hit me with your best shot.)

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